Five days on foot, still can't sleep.
Outside it's like nothing happened. Sky looks wrong, that's all.
Hike back to overturned NatGuard truck near Toquerville? After blisters heal, maybe.
Looks like USGS team was researching something here in cave. Cleared out when bombs fell, left equipment behind. Probably thought they had families to run back to.
Char, must've said this out loud a thousand times walking here. Maybe writing it will feel more like you heard.
You were right.
I was north of Spanish Fork. Took the 77 along Provo Bay to steer clear of town. Would've been home in an hour. Engine died, truck just stopped. So did a Chryslus in other lane. Knew right away.
First nuke hit SLC inside a minute. I was looking South - Lucky Man! Flash behind me so bright world looked on fire. Old couple from the Chryslus starts screaming they can't see.
Didn't watch you die, Char. Saved my eyes. Counted 12 more flashes next 7 minutes. Ground shook each time, 18 seconds later.
When nothing hit for half hour, took a look. Globe of fire where you and Alex died. Didn't kid myself.
Didn't know what to do. Grabbed my pack and rifle.
Saw to the old couple. Sat them up against car, let them hold and comfort each other. Told them I was going to get help, everything be okay. One bullet through both heads. Instant.
Five day hike back to Zion.
You told me. Stop running off to the wild. Man belongs with his family.
You were right. You were right. You were right. You were right. Wasn't there to hold you and my boy. Died without me. Never touch you or him again.
Should shoot myself. What I deserve.
Can't. Maybe soon.
Black rain falling outside. Geiger jumping. Should let it kill me but bottling water from back of cave all the same.
Sounds dead outside, but can't look. Geiger goes lethal 15 feet from cave mouth.
Do the math. Radiation goes down before water runs out or I never leave this cave.