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He's just trying to be funny.— The Chosen One, to Myron regarding a joke against the latter

The Shark Club comedian is the poorly-chosen entertainer of the Shark Club casino in New Reno in 2241.


Hired as an entertainer for the Shark Club, he is a terrible stand-up comic. He tries to impress the audience with his wit, but is usually achieving the exact opposite. Made worse with his very nervous demeanor,[1] the crowd will continually heckle and insult him.[2] However, he has a fence surrounding him, for his own protection.

Interactions with the player character

Interactions overview

38 Paradigm of Humanity.png
This character has no special interactions.

Other interactions

  • The comedian cannot be interacted with, but can be witnessed plying his trade in front of the audience.[1]
  • Killing the comedian drains 10 Karma.
  • If the Chosen One is accompanied by Myron, the comedian will start making jokes about him.[3]
  • Comedic routines

Note: All routines are read top to bottom, point by point. Indented points are audience reactions.


  • So... uh... why did the radscorpion cross the road?
    • To get away from your boring ASS!
    • I say we kill this guy!
  • Cause the radscorpion... uh, it wanted to get away from the radioactive fallout particles...
    • You suck!
    • FUCK YOU!
  • Uh, the joke, see, since it was already a mutant, it didn't need to cross the road, so... uh...


  • Heh-heh. Gecko... ghouls, right? Ghouls...man, do they STINK.
    • You stink!
    • This guy should only be on Saturday nights!
  • Uh... heh-heh... so, uh, ghouls right, they smell bad. So, like, uh...
  • Did I mention ghouls stink?
  • Um, so I find this ghoul, right, I ask, "Are you guys envious that I don't stink?"
  • He goes, "No. Uh, why do you ask?"
  • I said, because you're GREEN.
  • Uh... green with envy. Get it?
    • Booo!


  • So... there was this prostitute, right, this stupid slut...
    • Your Mom's a slut!
    • "Slut?" I'm going to stab you to death after the show!
  • And... uh... she goes, right, she goes, "is that a Gecko in your pocket or are you just... uh, horny?"
  • Uh... did I mention it was a fire-breathing Gecko...? Heh-heh.


  • Vertibirds?
    • Verti what?
    • What the hell is this guy talking about?
  • How about those little bags of peanuts they serve on flights?
  • How about the salami you get served?
  • What's... up with that?

Optional traits

  • Optional traits?
    • *Yawn*
  • You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?
    • Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?
  • Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"
  • Who... are these people?
    • Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.

Radscorpions again

  • Radscorpions?
  • What's so rad about them?
    • It's short for RADIATION, asshole.
  • Who are these people that think mutated scorpions...
  • Are so rad?
    • You suck!

Mole rats

  • Molerats?
  • Oh boy...
  • What's up with these things?
  • Are they moles...
  • Or...
  • Are they RATS?
  • And what about pigrats?
  • What is up with that?
  • Uhhh... yeah, what is up with that?

Super mutants

  • Super mutants?
    • Does this asshole ever stop telling these stupid jokes?
  • What's so SUPER about them?
  • When was the last time you saw a super mutant...
  • Get a cat out of a tree?
  • Never! Know why?
    • *Yawn*
  • Uhhh... because super mutants don't rescue cats...
  • They kill mercilessly!
    • Wish someone would kill you mershssmbl...
  • So who calls them SUPER mutants?
  • Who are these people?
    • Probably the same idiots who hired you!


This routine is only played if Myron is present in the player's party.

  • And what about that dork, Myron?
    • Myron: Is he talking about me?
  • I mean, what a geek! It's like he's lived in his parents' basement ALL his life.
    • *Ha* *Ha* *Ha*
    • Myron: Hey!
  • Well, Myron, you ARE a dork.
    • Chosen One: Don't worry about it, Myron. He's just trying to be funny.
    • Myron: Yeah, you're just lucky I don't kick your ass, pal!


This routine only plays after the completion of the game.

  • Heh-heh. Did you hear the one about the tribal who wiped out the Enclave?
  • The tribal was sooo stupid that, uh, the tribal, right... uh, blew up their rig.
  • BOOM!
  • Did I mention the tribal was stupid?
    • You're the one who's stupid!

Bugintro.pngThe following is based on bugged content.

Bishop daughter

This routine plays, but due to a bug, the player never sees the line. The comedian explodes on stage once the script triggers, though.

  • So did you hear about the stupid Bishop daughter that got knocked up?
    • *Clap* *Clap* *Clap*
    • ::Whistle::
    • Amazing!

Bugintro.pngEnd of information based on bugged content.


Apparel Weapon Other items
Torn old outfit


The Shark Club comedian appears only in Fallout 2.

Behind the scenes

  • When listening to the Shark Club comedian's horrible act, he will break the fourth wall and mention optional traits, Jinxed, and critical failures.[4]
  • According to the dialogue files for the cut casino pit bosses, the Chosen One could actually substitute for him. The pit boss would remark that the comedian "stinks worse than brahmin shit", and allow the Chosen One to perform.[5] Female characters could perform on stage with leather and a ball gag.[6]


The text dictating the comedian's set about Angela Bishop becoming pregnant does not appear, but results in the comedian's death regardless.


  1. 1.0 1.1 Shark Club comedian's character description: "{100}{}{You see a comedian.}"
    "{150}{}{You see a crappy stand-up comic. He's nervous, and it shows.}"
    "{200}{}{He's too busy in his routine to talk right now.}"
  2. See here for his joke list.
  3. See here for his joke specifically.
  4. Shark Club comedian: "{5000}{}{Optional traits?}"
    "{5002}{}{You know, like jinks. Anybody seen these lately?}"
    "{5003}{}{Anybody seen your pencil dick lately?}"
    "{5004}{}{Uhhh... Do you think that there is anyone who says, "Hey, I think I want more critical failures?"}"
    "{5005}{}{Who... are these people?}"
    "{5006}{}{Hey, I've heard that one somewhere before.}"
  5. Cut content Casino pit boss: "{610}{}{Yeah, he stinks worse than brahmin shit. Still, you…? [Looks you up and down skeptically.] Aw, why the hell not. A little improv ain't gonna hurt, but it's a rough crowd…better hope you're good.}"
  6. Cut content Casino pit boss: "{000}{}{The leather was a nice touch.}
    {000}{}{That ball gag you had with you didn't hurt, either.}