Quest variant A
This variant may have radroach groups, multiple irradiated radroaches, deathclaws, and radscorpions. After encountering the first scientist, select the second dialogue option to receive a rare or legendary laser rifle (depending on the quest level). After encountering the second scientist, select the second dialogue option again for a random rare or legendary junk item.
Quest variant B
This variant may contain deathclaws, including an alpha deathclaw, mole rats and radscorpions. After encountering the first scientist, respond with "How positively Newtonian," to receive a legendary junk jet. After encountering the second scientist, answer with "Density has nothing to do with weight," to receive a legendary junk item.
Quest variant C
This variant may contain radscorpions, deathclaws, radroaches, as well as irradiated radroaches. When you come across the first scientist, respond with "A coalition of chemists? That's dynamite!" for some Nuka Cola Quantum, and when you come across the second scientist, respond with "The water isn't being destroyed. It's changing from a liquid to a gas," for a random rare, or legendary junk, depending on the quest level.
Quest variant D
This version of the quest may contain deathclaws, radscorpions, and mole rats as enemies. When you come across the first scientist, select "You're studying the dead? That's captivatingly cadaverous!" and you will be awarded a large number of caps. Talk to the second scientist and select the second dialogue option regarding bacteria and fungus and you will receive a rare or legendary junk item.
Quest variant E
This variation contains deathclaws, radroaches, radscorpions, and glowing radscorpions. When you come across the first scientist, select "We hope you're growing some delightful daffodils and righteous roses!" and you may receive a lunchbox. When you come across the second scientist, select "Plants make food from light, but mushrooms get their nutrients from dissolving molecules," for a random rare or legendary junk item, depending on the quest level.
|Opening dialogue||Dweller responses||Character responses|
|Are you the researchers from the Vault? Excellent!
We're the Wasteland Laser Association. Membership limited.
|Make us some Laser Rifles, nerd.||No. I won't. Now why don't you move along and let me science?|
|Astounding! Do you use a helium-neon mixture for the laser gain medium?||In fact, we do! It's so nice to meet another scientist! Take a look at this piece I've been working on!|
|This is a terrible place to do laser research.||That's the Wasteland for you! Feel free to look around.|
|Ah, good, the Dwellers! I need your Vault-Tec expertise!
Tell me, what kind of beam emitter is best for use in a laser-based surgery apparatus?
|We prefer ones that set people on fire.||Oh no, that won't do at all! Thanks for your opinion, though. Forgive me, I need to ponder.|
|Use a proton emitter. It's positively positronic!||Of course! It all makes sense now! Here, for your vital assistance!|
|We honestly don't know. Go with your heart.||An organic beam emitter? I think that technology might be far too advanced. Oh well...|
|Hi there! Welcome to our Physics Club!
We hit things, and see what happens! It's science!
|That just sounds like vandalism.||Vandalism for science! Never mind. You just don't get it. Excuse me.|
|A Physics Club? How positively Newtonian!||I know! Check out this little project I've been working on. Here!|
|This place isn't exactly safe for doing science experiments.||It's not ideal, but that's the price of progress! Sorry. I should get back to it.|
|Ah, good, the Dwellers are here. I need your help with a serious scientific question.
I've been studying this old book I found about the elements.
|You're the scientist. Figure it out!||Hmph. Fine. I'll just continue studying this on my own. Now leave.|
|Density has nothing to do with weight.||Wait. It doesn't? Of course! I think... Here. Take this for your trouble!|
|We don't know, and we don't care.||Hmph. Fine. I'll just continue studying this on my own. Now leave.|
|Hurray, it's the Dwellers!
We're the Coalition of Cool Chemists. We think we're pretty neat.
|Chemistry is useless for anything but explosives.||Such a barbaric attitude! We clearly have nothing more to discuss.|
|A coalition of chemists? That's dynamite!||It is! I've been making a few new compounds. Check them out!|
|You should leave. It's not safe.||Nonsense! Science is not a coward's game! Now, if you'll excuse me...|
|Excellent, the new researchers from the Vault!
I'm studying the conversation of matter through the rigorous process of boiling water.
|That's what you're studying? How is boiling water supposed to help anyone?||I don't need your nay-saying! Just get out of here! Leave me to my work.|
|The water isn't being destroyed. It's changing from a liquid to a gas.||What? Of course! It's so obvious now! Here. A stipend for your insights.|
|Maybe it just doesn't like your stupid face.||Insults? Hmph. Fine. Leave me alone then.|
|Ah, yes! Help has arrived from the local Vault.
We're the Wasteland Coroner's Association. We help catalogue all the dead people out here.
|So what you're saying is, you're useless.||How dare you! These people are dead, but not forgotten! Now leave me alone!|
|You're studying the dead? That's captivatingly cadaverous!||Finally people who understand! Here, for a fellow sawbones!|
|The Wasteland is dangerous. There's no time to study dead people.||Science waits for nothing, I'm afraid. I must continue. If you'll excuse me.|
|I'm afraid you're too late, Vault Dwellers. My patient is dead...
Just kidding! He was already dead! For a while actually. Not a great smell...
|This is most disgusting conversation we've ever had.||If your stomach can't stand the science, get out of the lab!|
|Well, one reason is that the body isn't alive anymore to fight off bacteria and fungus.||An interesting theory! Thank you. Here. Have something for your trouble.|
|If you think the smell is bad, you don't want to know about the taste.||Are you saying you're... cannibals? Um... maybe you should just go.|
|It's the Vault Dwellers! Thank you so much for coming.
This is the Bubbly Botanist Bureau. We combine flowers with smiles!
|Flowers and smiles are useless. Only cruelty rules the Wasteland!||Now what kind of an attitude is that? Why don't you get away from my plants?|
|We hope you're growing some delightful daffodils and righteous roses!||Hurray! Glad you appreciate my work. Here. Take a little something.|
|No offense, but this is a dangerous place to be gardening.||It's not just gardening, it's science! Never mind. Just leave me to my work.|
|You're just in time. I'm in the middle of a most interesting quandary.
Plants require light to grow, but mushrooms don't! They grow even in total darkness.
|The only light you need is the shine from our amazing brilliance!||Uh, yes. Well, I should get back to work...|
|Plants make food from light, but mushrooms get their nutrients from dissolving molecules.||Fascinating! I'll need to write this down. Here. Take this for your help!|
|We don't know about light, but we're confident all living things can be set on fire.||That's... Not really what I was hoping to discover. Oh well. I should be on my way.|