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This is a transcript for dialogue with No-bark Noonan.


CaravanOffer Want to play a hand of Caravan? Neutral 50 Sure. Ol No-bark is always looking to play. Not for entertainment, mind you, but because if you look at the cards right you can know the future. 1
CaravanPlayerLoses CaravanPlayerLoses Neutral 50 No-bark wins! A few more like that and the curse'll get lifted for sure. 2
CaravanPlayerWins CaravanPlayerWins Neutral 50 Dang it! Shoulda known you was getting caravan hints from the bloatfly spirits what live in these parts. 3
Neutral 50 Well I'll be cold and rotting before I let them get the best of me. Let's go again. 4
CaravanRematchNo I'm all done playing for now. Neutral 50 Dang it, No-bark, just when you was making a friend. 5
CaravanRematchYes Yeah, let's play again. Neutral 50 No more magic spells this time. 6
GREETING GREETING Neutral 50 Who sent you? I ain't talking. They tried to get me to talk before, but I didn't say nothing. And I don't aim to now, by gum. 7
GREETING Neutral 50 You've seen them too, haven't you? I can see it in your eyes. I knew I wasn't the only one. 8
NobarkAbductorID Who was it? Surprise 90 Molerat men, come up from the Underneath to steal young women with promises of riches and fancy mud mansions with all the latest designer appliances. 9
Surprise 75 They covet our ladyfolk's long hair for wigs, it's said, being either bald or balding themselves. 10
NobarkActingStrange Has anybody been acting strange lately? Neutral 50 I don't trust a man that doesn't have something strange going on about him, 'cause it means he's hiding it from you. 11
Neutral 50 If a man's wearing his pants on his head or if he says his words backwards from time to time, you know it's all laid out there for you. 12
Neutral 50 But if he's friendly to strangers and keeps his home spick-and-span, more often than not he's done something even his own ma couldn't forgive. 13
NobarkActuallyAtRepcon Who do you think is actually at the factory? Surprise 90 Ghosts. Commie ghosts what don't know they're dead. 14
Surprise 80 Hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink and draw a Lenin face on it. 15
Neutral 50 I seen one of them disappear and reappear before my very eyes. 16
Neutral 50 Although being a scientist, I have to admit I might've just blinked for longer than usual, what with the shock of seeing a commie ghost and so forth. 17
NobarkBoonesWife What do you know about the abduction of Boone's wife? Neutral 50 Seen it all. Seen shadowy folk come to his room and leave again in the middle of the night. Thought one might've gone in the lobby, too, for a spell. 18
Neutral 50 Could be that person went in to get something. Or use the john maybe. Mighty interesting either way, you ask me. 19
Neutral 50 I thought it was cannibals, come to eat us all for sure, so I kept out of sight. But now I know better. 20
NobarkCanTalkFromHere We can talk from this distance. Neutral 50 You sure, now? It's kinda hard to hear you. 21
NobarkCorralDeaths What else do you know about the deaths at the corral? Neutral 50 I come face to face with the chupacabra himself one night whilst I was investigating whether this gecko was hiding his treasure from me. 22
Neutral 50 He was the meanest, ugliest chupacabra you could imagine. Had two heads, and fangs down to the ground. 23
Neutral 50 Best I could tell, anyways, since when he come up to me he was invisible. 24
Neutral 50 Had himself a blunderbuss what would rotate and shoot bullets real fast out of a backpack. Never seen nothing like it. 25
Neutral 50 Walked right past me having an argument with somebody. 26
Neutral 50 But I only saw the one chupacabra, so I guess the other fella had to be invisible too. Only more invisible than the other one. 27
NobarkGoingOn What's been going on in town? Neutral 50 There's been things of a disturbing nature going on at the McBride Corral. 28
Neutral 50 Seems every night one of their herd meets a most unnatural death, and always there's holes all over the body. 29
Surprise 75 Work of the chupacabra, the livestock vampire, says No-bark, but they don't pay no mind. Too many holes, they say, and there's bullets in them. 30
Neutral 50 Well, says No-bark, we got a chupacabra with an automatic weapon. And that's when they get real quiet, 'cause now they see the predicament we're in. 31
NobarkIfYoureGoingToBeWeird If you're going to be weird, I'm just going to leave. Anger 35 Weird's just normal when normal decides to start taking notice of things. You just think about that. 32
Neutral 50 Now what'd you come here for? 33
NobarkInterestingHappenings Is anything interesting happening in the area? Neutral 50 Folks'll tell you that they seen ghouls up near the rocket factory. 34
Neutral 50 Sensationalist hooey, cooked up by superstitious yokels seeing phantoms of their own imagining. 35
NobarkLeaving I have to go now. Neutral 50 Let me know if you meet anyone suspicious. 36
NobarkMeanNoHarm I don't mean any harm. Neutral 50 We'll just see about that. You come any closer and I'm liable to stick you with my stickin' knife. Ol' Sticky's feeling mighty ornery this day. 37
NobarkSomethingElse Let's talk about something else. Neutral 50 Good idea. It ain't safe to stay on the same topic for too long. 38
NobarkWhoTriedToMakeYouTalk Who tried to make you talk? Neutral 50 Confound it, No-bark, you done it again. You let on that you know things. Now they'll never let you be. 39
Neutral 50 All right, stranger, you got me. What do you want to know? 40
NobarkYouSaidYoudStabMe You said you'd stab me with that dirty knife. Neutral 50 Okay, okay. Just speak up a little. But not so much that They hear you. They got people everywhere, always listening. 41
NobarkYoureGoingToTalk You're going to talk whether you like it or not. Fear 25 I give up! Please don't do no harm to me, mister, leastaways not my face. All I got left is my rugged good looks. What do you want to know? 42
You're going to talk whether you like it or not. Neutral 50 I give up! Please don't do no harm to me, missy, leastaways not my face. All I got left is my rugged good looks. What do you want to know? 43
NovacGhoulInfo What can you tell me about the ghouls spotted to the west? Neutral 50 From what I've been able to gather, they've been seen messing around with the machinery up there. What could they be up to? 44
PLAYERKNOCKOVEROBJECTS PLAYER KNOCK OVER OBJECTS Surprise 50 What? How'd you get past the guards? 45
PLAYER KNOCK OVER OBJECTS Surprise 50 They're here! Don't let them get the antidote! Oh. It's just you. You can't have it either. 46
PLAYER KNOCK OVER OBJECTS Surprise 50 The molerat men! They've come for my beard at last! Oh. Never mind. 47
SnipersRevengeComeOutside Come with me. There's something you should see, in front of the dinosaur. Neutral 50 If you're talking about that thing that looks like the entrance to the center of the Earth, I think it might just be a pothole. 48
Neutral 50 But we better check it out anyway. 49
Come with me. There's something you should see, in front of the dinosaur. Neutral 50 I know we already did this, but this time things might turn out different. 50
SpeechChallengeFailure SpeechChallengeFailure Neutral 50 That's just the kind of thing I'd be expecting them to say. Which proves you're not with them. 51
Neutral 50 Well, that's a load off. What do you want to know? 52
VDialogueNovacNobarkName Why do they call you No-bark? Neutral 50 Cause they know I ain't just barking here. What I say's got bite, 'cause it's the truth. 53
Anger 75 Them quack doctors can say what they want about all the radscorpion stings that done pierced my skull. I know what I seen. 54
VMQ01LookingForManny I'm looking for a man in a checkered coat. Have you seen anyone like that? Neutral 50 Sure have. Camouflage, that coat was, trying to hide from extra terrestrials what can only see in black and white checkers. 55
Neutral 50 But they're not fooled 'cause he forgot to put the checkers on his face. I told him so and he seemed to take it to heart. 56
Neutral 50 They stayed here a night, and was up by the dinosaur talking to the sniper fella with the moustache a couple of times. 57


GOODBYE Goodbye. Neutral 50 If anyone asks, we never spoke. 58
HELLO Hello Neutral 50 Careful. They got spies all over. 59


RNVNewsStory2 RNVNewsStoryLine2 Neutral 50 {No-Bark Noonan:} It's ghouls, I tell ya. Religious ghouls in rockets looking for a land to call their own. 60
RNVNewsStory3 RNVNewsStoryLine3 Neutral 50 {No-Bark Noonan:} Don't you laugh at me. I know a spell that'll make you show your true form. Cave rat taught it to me. 61