“I don't trust a man that doesn't have something strange going on about him, cause that means he's hiding it from you. If a man's wearing his pants on his head or says his words backwards from time to time, you know it's all laid out there for you. But if he's friendly to strangers and keeps his home spick-and-span, more often than not it means he's done something even his own ma couldn't forgive.”
No-bark Noonan is a crazy conspiracy theorist living in Novac in 2281.
Background
Edit
Not much is known about No-bark Noonan's past. However, when asked about his nickname, he reveals that he suffered from multiple radscorpion stings that have pierced his skull. The event undoubtedly made him into the man he is. He also claims to be a scientist, which he may have been in the past before being stung by radscorpions, since his advanced vocabulary might suggest higher education. He wanders the streets of Novac, looking into windows and spouting conspiracy theories and other ramblings that sometimes have nuggets of truth hidden in them. It's not exactly certain how he earned his nickname, although Alice McBride, a Novac resident, believes that his name comes from the phrase "not all of his dogs are barking." No-bark says otherwise; he claims that "they know I ain't just barking here. What I say's got bite, 'cause it's the truth."
Interactions with the player characterEdit
Interactions overviewEdit
 | This character plays Caravan. | They can bid 2000 caps. |
 | This character is involved in quests. |
QuestsEdit
- They Went That-a-Way: The Courier can ask him if he has seen a man in a checkered suit; he claims that he saw him running away from aliens, although none can be found in this portion of the Mojave Wasteland.
- One for My Baby: Despite his obvious madness and his seemingly random, humorous ramblings about mole-men and time-shares, No-bark actually gives the Courier useful information about the night of the crime, saying that he witnessed shady goings-on at the Dino Dee-lite front desk.
- Come Fly With Me: While No-bark has no clue what is going on at the REPCONN Facility, he states that he believes the plant is inhabited by "commie ghosts that don't know they're dead." He speculates that their plan is to hijack the nearby rockets, so they can travel to the moon, paint it pink and "draw a Lenin face on it."
- The Screams of Brahmin: No-bark will direct the Courier to speak to Alice and Dusty McBride after claiming he saw an "invisible chupacabra" shoot some of the McBride's brahmin.
Other interactionsEdit
- Upon meeting No-bark, he threatens to stick the Courier with his "stickin' knife." No-bark is also extremely paranoid of communists and has many pro-American posters covering the walls of his shack. Some of the posters will be familiar to those who have played Fallout 3, as they are posters which are seen in various locations in the Capital Wasteland and in that game's loading screen slides.
- After the Courier completes Come Fly With Me, Radio New Vegas takes an interview with him, where he correctly states that the rockets belong to "religious ghouls looking for a land to call their own." He further states "Don't you laugh at me! I know a spell that will make you show your true form! Cave rat taught it to me." He does this interview while speaking to a teddy bear near a microphone.
InventoryEdit
| Apparel | Weapon | Other items |
|---|---|---|
| Wasteland settler outfit |
NotesEdit
- No-bark introduces himself to the Courier by threatening to stab them with a knife he calls Ol' Sticky, even though he isn't carrying one. While something like this might normally be disregarded as rambling, options in the Courier's dialogue imply that he really does have a knife, or at least that he should.
- With a Strength of 6 or more, the Courier can threaten No-bark to tell them everything; this has no effect on what he says, other than a small amount of experience. There will be no Karma or reputation loss, however.
- No-bark is the one character in New Vegas that seems to be able to play caravan no matter how much money he has left. He is much wealthier than he seems, being able to bet 1,000 caps in a caravan game.
Notable quotesEdit
- "Commie ghosts what don't know they're dead. Hoping to steal our rockets so they can fly up and paint the moon pink and draw a Lenin face on it."
- "Them quack doctors can say what they want about all the radscorpion stings that done pierced my skull. I know what I seen."
- "I don't trust a man that doesn't have something strange going on about him, cause that means he's hiding it from you. If a man's wearing his pants on his head or if he says his words backwards from time to time, you know it's all laid out there for you. But if he's friendly to strangers and keeps his home spick-and-span, more often than not he's done something even his own ma couldn't forgive."
- "Well, says No-bark, we got a chupacabra with an automatic weapon. And that's when they get real quiet, 'cause now they see the predicament we're in."
- "It's ghouls, I tell ya. Religious ghouls in rockets looking for a land to call their own. Don't you laugh at me! I know a spell that will make you show your true form; cave rat taught it to me."
AppearancesEdit
No-bark Noonan appears only in Fallout: New Vegas.
Behind the scenesEdit
- No-bark Noonan was written by Eric Fenstermaker.
- No-bark Noonan references Vladimir Lenin, the founder of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union.
- "Commies" painting the moon is another reference to Robert A. Heinlein; in "The Man Who Sold the Moon", DD Harriman convinces a US businessman that the Russians intended to get there first, to paint the Hammer and Sickle on the moon.
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