Do you think that life's supposed to be some pretty picture without any misery in it? Life IS misery! Misery, and whatever the Hell we decide to do about it!

Dane is a member of the Children of the Cathedral around 2161. He can be found in the eastern corner of the second level of the Cathedral.


Once a candidate for conversion into the Master's nightkin army, Dane was dosed with mind-altering chemicals and was rendered mentally defunct after induction into the Cathedral's brainwashing program.

He is highly unstable, repeatedly spouting a string of incoherent, nonsensical dialogue when prompted. Speaking with him on multiple occasions results with fluctuating responses of varying coherence.

Interactions with the player characterEdit

Interactions overviewEdit

This character has no special interactions.

Other interactionsEdit

  • He may be considered friendly towards the player unless physically attacked, despite his volatile nature.

Collected ravingsEdit

  • I know fathers aren't supposed to hug their sons, but I love you, dad!
  • What's your favorite color, friend? Mine is milk!
  • Mother, did you think they'd drop a bomb?/ They did it with grace and such aplomb!/ My name is Dane, it is not Tom!
  • I like Mister Handy! I want to have sex with his cute little hands . . .
  • I'm crazy. I've gone crazy. Oh my god, I have gone completely nuts! Think about peace! Think about Unity!
  • I want a horse! I need a horse! Bring me a horse, dammit! A horse!
  • They're watching us even now! Mr. Nightkin! Felix and Timothy! Cats! Dogs! Nightkin!
  • [Singing off-key] Once, I was lost, and now I see! No more baptism now for me!
  • Does anyone know how to fix a toaster?
  • Gunpowder is intelligent and evil and controls your brain! The more gunpowder that's near you, the crazier you become! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
  • . . . I just want to set the world on fiiiiiiiyaaah!!!
  • So are penguins. And gyro buffalo. They shoot them out of great big bison guns. You gotta watch out for those buffalo women. They'll drop a bison on you so fast, you won't know what hit you! Ha!
  • I used to live in Penticton, British Columbia. Or maybe I saw it on a map of the old days. Those were good old days. Wish I'd been alive back then . . .
  • I'm bored. What's worse, I've been screwed over. It isn't fun anymore. You ever got the feeling you were just strings and they didn't bother to hang you? I'm all over the floor!
  • I used to be insane, you know, until I went through the Servitor process. I used to be insane, but now I'm just in pieces. Pieces! Pieces!
  • It's all a game, you see. A game, and I'm one of the pieces. And a kid got real angry, and so he started stepping on me. Step and step and step and step, and finally I just broke!
  • Maybe they'll scoop out my brain! Scoop out my brain and turn me into their pet! Here, Dane! Catch the ball, Dane! Sic 'em, Dane! Sic 'em, Dane! Sic 'em, Dane! Execute them, you brain-dead dog!
  • Life sucks, but death sucks worse, and we can't go back in time to stop our birth, so what's the point?
  • My name is Dane. I am a Viking. I like ducks. I rape and pillage! Will you rape and pillage with me?
  • I think I'll call my first child Fallout. I had a son once, but the radiation ate him in his mommy's womb.
  • What is evil? Evil is when good gets completely screwed up! Evil is when brave people can't be brave anymore! Evil is an anagram of vile! There's got to be a moral standard somewhere!
  • You know, I used to think religion was a noble calling, and maybe it is; but you can't walk into it blindly, or they'll take control of your brain.
  • John Brown's body is molderin' in the Grave. John Brown's body is molderin' in the Grave, John Brown's body is a-molderin' in the Grave, and the Master's screwing us overrrrr . . .
  • I'm screwed, but this is only Phase 1 of the Cathedral Screwover Plan. When servitors get completely brainwashed, they got to Phase 2. That's when the Master baptizes them in the FEV-2!
  • I used to hurt people bad, too. I was a stud! Hell, I was a god! A tough god son of a bitch! But it wasn't enough! I was a goose-stepping fighting machine! But now I'm . . . I'm . . . help me . . .
  • Love is what makes the cactus grow! Love is what makes the brahmin moo! Love is screwing, it's screwing your life! I hate love! I love hate! If the Master hated us, we'd be all right!
  • Do you think that life's supposed to be some pretty picture without any misery in it? Life IS misery! Misery, and whatever the Hell we decide to do about it! Coping! Loving! Screwing! Hating! Taking chances! Boring people! Bashing assholes! Making friends with other assholes! Running away from your mistakes! Facing your mistakes! Radiation! Having kids and doing the same thing over again, sometimes better, sometimes worse! That is life, man! It's like being drunk; look at it one way, and it's a piss poor embarrassment! Look at it a different way and it feels great! But it's all the same thing! It's all life!
  • I'm a little bitter right now. Like Orange Pekoe left out in the rain. Ha! I like that saying! I think I'll keep repeating it! I'm a little bitter right now. Like Orange Pekoe left out in the rain...


Apparel Weapon Other items
Robes Ripper


Dane appears only in Fallout.

Behind the scenesEdit

  • Dane sings the first line of "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire", the only sign that the song was originally intended as the title song.
  • "Does anyone know how to fix a toaster?" is a reference to the Toaster repair skill from Wasteland.
  • "I want a horse! I need a horse! Bring me a horse, dammit! A horse!" is a string of seemingly nonsense that Dane will occasionally emit. It is a reference to a similar line from Shakespeare's Richard III: "A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!"
  • "Mother, did you think they'd drop a bomb?" is from the Pink Floyd song "Mother."
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.