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Woof! If you're not the most sarcastic dame I ever met, your standards are so low they could use you at the Annual Gomorrah Saucy Limbo Competition. As the bar!

Billy Knight is a street comedian living on the Strip in 2281. He stands outside of the Tops casino, next to a gate dividing the Strip.


Billy Knight is a longtime professional comedian who has clearly fallen on hard times. His act is made up of sardonic one-liners and observations about life and various personalities in New Vegas. It is implied that he was once a well-known comic, but his desperation causes him to sharply question his worth to a club.

Interactions with the player character

Interactions overview

FO76 ui icon quest.png
This character is involved in quests.


  • Talent Pool: The player character needs to recruit a comedian. Billy is a prime choice to perform his act for the patrons of Tommy Torini's Aces Theater, located in the Tops casino.

Effects of player's actions

  • Billy is desperate for the work, and offers to perform for as low as 10 caps a night; however, with a 25 Barter skill, he can be convinced to persuade Torini of his true worth as an act.


Apparel Weapon Other items On death
Pre-War casualwear


  • If recruited for Torini, Billy performs his act at the Aces nightly between 4:00 P.M. and 6:00 P.M.
  • If one listens to all of his jokes, he will make a crack about being served human meat at the Ultra-Luxe, foreshadowing a quest with them. The joke is somewhat similar to the cannibalism joke that the robot butlers tell in Fallout 3 ("Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, 'Does this taste funny to you?'").
  • The Tops sign bills him as the "King of Zing!"
  • During his routine, Billy will make a joke about Tops owner Benny paying his salary. Billy will make this joke even if Benny is dead or has fled the Strip while other non-player characters in the theater are talking about the mobster's recent disgrace.
  • Billy may also make a joke about Benny paying his salary even if he is still working on the street.
  • Billy will continue to joke about Securitrons having policemen faces after they are upgraded to the Mark II software, which replaces the policemen with soldiers among other changes.

List of jokes

  • "I had dinner at the Ultra-Luxe the other night. I told them my steak tasted funny. They said it was a clown. I ate a person!"
  • "Hey, what about that suit Benny wears? If I had a suit like that, the ladies would be all over me. What, you expect a punchline? The guy pays my salary! It's true!"
  • "It's hard to sleep in this place, I tell ya; this girl was pounding on my door all night, finally I had to let her out."
  • "I've been in love with the same woman for 17 years. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me, No!"
  • "A ghoul goes into a doctor and says, 'Doctor, doctor I have this horrible rash!', The doctor says 'Son, that's called your face!" Ding dong!
  • "It's great to be here at the Tops, folks. The room I'm in has a lovely little closet. A nail."
  • "I take my wife everywhere, but somehow she keeps finding her way back."
  • "I try to be frank and earnest with women. In New Reno, I'm Frank and in the Boneyard I'm Ernest. Oh no!"
  • "I've been married for 17 years. Where did I go wrong? Oh!"
  • "So I hear Mr. House runs the Strip. He took it over from the last guy, Mr. Mob-Infested Hellhole (did he just say that)."
  • "I love these robots with the friendly little policeman's faces. Sure, they still rough you up, but they look so happy!"
  • "My wife and I know the secret to a happy marriage. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant. She goes Mondays, I go Fridays."
  • "People say it's hard to survive the Wasteland - hey, how hard can it be, the water glows in the dark (and it burns)!"
  • "My hotel room is so small, when I put the key in the lock, I broke the window!"
  • "I hear James Garret drove 5,000 head of Brahmin to New Reno. No bodies, just the heads."
  • "I bought my wife a little car here in New Vegas. An Omerta. It has a hood under the hood. Ay-ay-ay!"
  • "I know a guy, his motto is Love Thy Neighbor. He lives next to a brothel."
  • "They really care about your privacy here at the Tops. Even room service has an unlisted number! What!"
  • "I told my wife she's good-looking for a ghoul. It's just too bad she's not a ghoul. Ay-ay-ay!"
  • "My cousin and his wife are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. Ha-cha-cha!"

Notable quotes


Billy Knight appears only in Fallout: New Vegas.

Behind the scenes

Billy's jokes delivery style and jokes are nearly a direct copy of those told by Henny Youngman, the "King of One-Liners."[1]