The Abraxodyne tapes are a series of 15 holotapes in the Fallout 76 update Burning Springs.
Locations[]
Given by Bodhi in Athens after returning Abraxodyne intel cases to him.
Transcripts[]
Abraxodyne tape 01[]
Wilbur: Okay folks, we've finally got the results back from the consumer surveys! These ones were to gauge attitudes towards the Abraxodyne Chemical brand. We did good, but the board thinks we can do better. They've asked for a full rebranding campaign that focuses on cementing a "family-friendly" image. I want us all to put our heads together on this one and come up with some standout ideas. Don't hold back - think big, think bold!
Martin Finch: What about a new mascot? I-I'm thinking an anthropomorphic bubble named "Squeaky" who teaches kids good hygiene and traditional values.
Wilbur: A what? No, Martin, get it together, for Pete's sake!
Amrita: How about a commercial? We have the brand recognition and the budget to make something memorable. Lots of the big brands are doing it!
Wilbur: A commercial... I like it. We'll need a catchy slogan to go with it too, of course. Something to really sell the "wholesome" angle.
Martin Finch: Say no more, say no more, I have got it! "We're soft on fabrics, but hard on Communism!" Not bad, eh? Tell me that's not our pièce de résistance.
Wilbur: Ugh, Martin...
Amrita: How about we pick something that showcases our values?
Janice: Oh, I've got one. "Abraxodyne Chemical: For families who put clean living first."
Wilbur: That's perfect, they'll eat that "family first" baloney right up. Nice work Janice. All right, good work everybody. Now that's out of the way, let's discuss next quarter's recruitment strategies.
Abraxodyne tape 02[]
Wilbur: Our Marketing, P.R. and R&D departments have all been hard at work this quarter crafting our new employee instructional video. As requested, we've covered the major areas of concern that have been "problematic" in recent years. So, let's see what you think. Roll the tape.
Narrator: Welcome, employee. Whether this is your first time donning the Abraxodyne Chemical overalls or the hundredth, this training video is for you! By following these simple steps and adhering to our new mandatory safety protocols, you'll be keeping yourself, and the company, out of harm's way. Employees are expected to take full, personal responsibility for their own actions and for the safety of their team. Remember: safety is no accident! Deviation from our chemical handling procedures can have serious consequences; for you, and for the lab.
*Scream*
Narrator: Oops! That's gotta sting. Remember folks, follow the safety procedures outlined in the employee handbook or face the consequences. Our patented cleaning formula should be tough on grime, not tough on you. Report to a supervisor immediately if you encounter any infractions. Here at Abraxodyne Chemical, we like to keep things spotless. But, did you know that cleanliness starts with what you say? That's right. Gossip and rumors leave a nasty stain on you and the company. Best to steer clear of the grapevine and avoid the unwanted repercussions. When you signed your contract with us, you joined something bigger than yourself. Bigger than detergent. You joined a family. And as family, we ask only for the loyalty, commitment, and trust that we've invested into you. Please read your contracts for more details. So don't forget, the success of Abraxodyne Chemical lies with you. Stick to these guidelines and we'll all shine!
Abraxodyne tape 03[]
Amrita: *Sigh*
Moses: Something on your mind, Ms. Amrita?
Amrita: No, no. Just another lousy meeting where I'm asked to achieve the impossible.
Moses: That so? Was it as bad as the one last week?
Amrita: Hah! Worse, in fact. You don't know the half of it Moses. You know, sometimes I wonder how we keep getting into these screw-ups, especially after Pittsburgh. I'm always the one left to pick up the pieces.
Moses: You're a hard worker, Ms. Amrita. Why, I always see you running around here, busy as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest! Dealing with the bumps in the road ain't easy, but I'm sure the fine folks here appreciate your efforts.
Amrita: I really wish I believed you, but sometimes I feel like I'm one bad P.R. statement away from being thrown under the bus. I've got to start looking into ways to protect myself a bit more... We've all got to cover our backs right?
Abraxodyne tape 04[]
Terry: Here you go, ma'am, you can call the number on the back to find more details about Abraxodyne's newest-
Ronny: Terry... Terry!
Terry: What? I'm with a customer right now. Apologies, ma'am, that flyer should have all the info you need. C'mon man, you're distracting me!
Ronny: Some guy was just asking me the weirdest questions!
Terry: Yeah, so? People are meant to come and ask us questions, that's why we're here.
Amrita: Here we are sir, let us know if you'd like any more information.
Ronny: Yeah, but this guy was crazy. Get a load of this: He was asking me questions about all the "incidents" the company's had in the last few years and-
Terry: For the love of God, Ronny! Tell me you didn't give him any details, you're gonna get us both fired!
Ronny: Relax, will ya? I'm not an idiot. I remember what they told us in the briefing.
Amrita: There we go, ma'am. Come by the booth again, if you have questions.
Ronny: Anyways, I tell him to get bent 'cause I'm not gonna accidentally spill the beans to some undercover reporter looking for a scoop.
Terry: Oh great, so now we're gonna get written up for insulting the public!
Ronny: Take it easy will ya? I did it all professional-like! He told me that he was with the military and that they're interested in our product's potential.
Terry: Interested? Interested how?
Ronny: I'm not sure. But, it smells like a bonus if we can take it up the chain.
Terry: Yeah... Yeah, maybe you're right. Okay, well what are we waiting for? Let's go find him!
Abraxodyne tape 05[]
Martin Finch: Come on Martin, you're one good idea away from getting that promotion, I can feel it! The others might laugh at me now, but they won't once I'm in charge, that's for sure. I just need something that will grab the board's attention, something that will really blow their socks off... Ooo! What about a special edition of Abraxo called "Atomic Sparkle" with trace elements of Uranium. "Your clothes will come out glowing... literally!" No, that will never get through the safety tests! Definitely not after our last whoopsie with radioactive ingredients. Perhaps we take a different approach? How about an actual soap opera named "Suds Galore"? Where the laundry is clean but the drama is anything but! We could even have a talking washing machine voiced by a celebrity to plug our latest products and deal bonanzas. No... Far too whimsical, and may give children nightmares. I've got it! A line of air fresheners dedicated to American presidents. We could have Teddy Roosevelt Tang: Raw, musky, slightly peppery. Smells like gunpowder and moustache wax. Or-or Truman Spice: Sharp, direct, strong. A smell that isn't afraid to make hard decisions or send the Communists packing! Voila, it's perfect, I've cracked it! If the board doesn't like this one, I'll eat my hat!
Abraxodyne tape 06[]
Julius: I've told you before, I don't feel comfortable getting in front of any cameras until we've had a proper review of our lab safety requirements!
Sheila: And that's been duly noted, Julius. We appreciate you bringing it to our attention, again. Your concern for your fellow lab techs is commendable. However, the board has stated several times that they want our lead researcher to be present in this new commercial to add credibility.
Julius: If the board wants credibility then they need to put their money where their mouth is, and start listening to our concerns. Not spending the budget on flashy commercials instead of the proper safety equipment I've had on the docket for over six months!
Harold: Your equipment requests have been received and are currently being reviewed by our finance team for validity.
Julius: Validity? My guys are burning through a respirator a day with the old kits! We need stronger equipment if you want us to work on this type of stuff.
Harold: That's enough, Julius. Or do you need reminding of the confidentiality agreement you signed? We need you in the new advertisement, simple as that. Anyhow, you're obligated to perform certain public appearances. Check your contract.
Amrita: It won't be too strenuous Julius. You'll be fully prepared beforehand and I'll personally see to it that you get your equipment. How does that sound?
Julius: Fine! I'll give you one afternoon, but no more. Someone needs to be supervising the lab techs, given the situation.
*Door closing*
Amrita: Well, I'm glad that's finally sorted. Why the sudden need for stronger respirators though? Our standard equipment has served us fine for years, no?
Harold: Probably best to leave those details to the experts for now. Thanks for your help today, Amrita. I'll send you the shooting schedule for the ad soon.
Abraxodyne tape 07[]
Janitor 1: I mean, how do they expect us to work in these conditions?
Janitor 2: You said it, pal. Complete joke, if you ask me.
Amrita: Just a little louder, come on...
Janitor 1: It's bad enough that they won't give us any of the new hazmat suits, but not replacing clearly broken equipment?
Janitor 2: It's downright dangerous if you ask me. And with the wages we're earning, it's hardly worth the risk.
Amrita: Ugh, I can barely hear them. Maybe it was a mistake hiding in here.
Janitor 1: Jake's the third person working this shift who's gone off sick in a month. Now don't tell me that's a coincidence, 'cause I ain't stupid!
Janitor 2: Hey, at least you weren't the one who inherited his mop. Look at this thing - what was he mopping up with it? Lava? You can't use that mangled piece of crap. You'd be better off using a wad of paper towels at this rate. Let me grab my spare from the store cupboard.
Amrita: Oh shi-
Abraxodyne tape 08[]
Martin Finch: Hmm, note to self: Check with R&D boys about investigating an edible detergent. A tasty snack that delights the mind and cleans the stomach!
*Door opening*
Kerry: Oh, it's you...
Martin Finch: Ah, Kerry, hello! I was just looking for you actually. I have another brilliant idea; I think you're going to really like this one.
Kerry: What is it this time, Martin?
Martin Finch: I call it "shower-in-a-can": It's an aerosol spray that eliminates the need for bathing. Convenient for the modern go-getter!
Kerry: Yeah, okay, that's great and all, but listen - I have some actual work for you to do. We have a new... product that we need a company codename for.
Martin Finch: Ah excellent, I'm quite a wunderkind at that sort of thing. So, what's the new product? I'll be able to whip up a name for you, tout de suite.
Kerry: Don't worry about what it is, that's classified information. Just make sure it sounds appealing and, uh... clean. Have it on my desk by five.
*Door closes*
Martin Finch: Right, think Martin, you can do this. Needs to be something fresh, something invigorating. "Spring Clean"? No, too obvious. Nature... purity; something delicate-sounding that won't overstay its welcome, like a polite dinner guest. Meadow-something, perhaps? "Meadow Glade"? Hm, no-no, not quite. "Meadow Whisper" maybe? No, too sultry. Ah, what about "Meadow Breeze"! Yes, that's it! "Meadow Breeze"! Gentle, yet exciting. Fragrant, yet sophisticated. It screams business but with a delightful je ne sais quoi. God, I'm good! Note to self: Ask Kerry for a raise.
Abraxodyne tape 09[]
*Film set background noise*
Director: All right everybody, quiet on set please. Roll sound, roll camera. Take 1.*Clapperboard sound* And... action!
Julius: Here at Abraxodyne Chemical, we're pioneering the latest and greatest in cleaning products, engineered to brighten your whites and your day... We-
Director: Cut, CUT! Listen buddy, I know you're probably used to being down in the lab all day and whatnot, but I'm gonna need a little bit more verve, okay?
Julius: It's hard to be enthusiastic when you're making me read this drivel! Whoever wrote this should spend a hot minute in my lab, then-
Director: Okay folks, let's take five and give the "talent" time to blow off some... steam.
*Background sounds of the set*
Amrita: Julius, I know this might feel like baloney to you, but we're just trying to go for the most family-friendly vibe we can.
Julius: Family-friendly? Amrita, I know you're in charge of the P.R. here, but I didn't think you'd fall for that line yourself!
Amrita: I-
Director: All right, back to positions everybody. Let's take it from the second scene. And here we go! *Clapperboard*
Julius: Don't forget to collect your "Abraxo-bucks", found in all eligible Abraxodyne products, for your chance to win a year's supply of premium detergent. For all your cleaning needs, think Abraxodyne Chemical: For families who put clean living first... Really? Is that what we're going with?
Director: CUT!
Abraxodyne tape 10[]
Amrita: I'm recording this to say, that enough is enough. This... This is getting out of hand now and somebody has to do... something. It started out with keeping receipts in case the board ever tried to pin one of their screw-ups on me. Just so I had a bit of leverage... Anything. But every stone I've unturned, the rot goes deeper and deeper. The more I look, the more I find... Isn't it my job to know the ugly stuff; so I can shield the brand and help us focus on what really helps people? Whatever we're doing now, it goes a hell of a lot deeper than the circles I'm part of. And this "Meadow Breeze" project I've seen referenced in new data entries... I can't tell exactly what it is, but I do not like the look of it. I think... I think I need to keep going. I wish I could put this genie back in the bottle and turn a blind eye but, this has all gone too far now. Somebody's got to hold them to account. And if not me, then who?
Abraxodyne tape 11[]
Tony: How did we get to this stage in the first place, Kerry? I thought we agreed to can this idea after the failure of the first round of testing?
Kerry: We did, but, we were very close, so I encouraged the boys to keep working on an improved formula in their down time.
Wilbur: This is unacceptable. Even entertaining the idea of developing this "Meadow Breeze" weapon flies in the face of what this company stands for.
Kerry: I hear your concerns, I do, but think of it this way: If we get this right, then Abraxodyne Chemical will be helping protect our troops oversees. This stuff is so strong, it could be used as a deterrent against the Commies! Who knows, it might even prevent a war. Now that's patriotic!
Wilbur: Patriotic? What malarkey! Have you lost your mind? We're a family company, Kerry, remember? That's just not how we do things here.
Kerry: I reckoned some of you might not be on board yet, so I took the liberty of compiling the projected revenue from the military contract.
*Projector sounds*
Tony: Mother of God...
Wilbur: Well, when you put it that way... Perhaps it wouldn't hurt for the company to get with the times a bit more.
Tony: Yeah, and I suppose we do have a national duty to protect our boys in uniform, after all. It'll be great for morale and market share. *chuckle*
Abraxodyne tape 12[]
Janice: I know, ma, but I don't really have a choice right now. I never thought I'd get promoted out of a secretary position in the first place. I can't mess this up!
*Muffled phonecall replies*
Janice: It's 'cause of this new "genius" contest idea that Tony came up with. Y'know the "Abraxo-bucks" one? It wouldn't have been so bad if they'd done the cost projections before committing to it, but now they've realized they can't have "so many winners". Now I've got to sort through the distribution data and make sure it's "statistically unlikely" for anyone to actually collect enough of these tickets.
*Muffled phonecall replies*
Janice: I can't demand that, ma.*Sigh* I'm just going to have to keep staying late until it's done. I'm too afraid to make a fuss about it.
*Muffled phonecall replies*
Janice: I know, I know you're right. Anyways, can you put Mikey's dinner in the oven and put the kids to bed for me please? Love you. *Sigh*
Amrita: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Oh, hey Amrita, didn't see you back there! Don't mind what I was saying to my mom, she just worries is all. Everything's fine!
Amrita: How about you take off and go spend some time with those kids, huh? Tell Tony he can talk to me if he's got a problem with it.
Janice: Oh, Amrita, are you sure? I don't want to get you in any trouble. I could really use the sleep though...
Amrita: It's fine, get out of here, go get some rest. Don't worry, I'll lock up around here after you're gone.
Abraxodyne tape 13[]
Harold: For the love of God, I am getting sick of this! It is ridiculous! Every damn thing we say ends up getting leaked to the press somehow! How are we even meant to have these meetings if there's no guarantee they won't end up in the hands of reporters?
Tony: All right, Harold, let's keep calm. Indiscretion has caused enough problems already. We just need to tighten up our flow of information, that's all. We're lucky that this reporter was caught and dealt with before anything could be published and our brand permanently damaged.
Kerry: Even so, everything points to this being an inside job! How else would they have heard about project Meadow Breeze?
Tony: That is true. How about this then: If the mole is in this room, come forward, and we can smooth this all out. Right here, right now.
*Silence*
Tony: No? Well, it was worth a try. So be it, tomorrow we'll begin upscaling our internal investigations and, if needed, we won't hesitate to-
*Clatter*
Kerry: What was that?
Amrita: Sorry, I, uh... dropped my handbag.
Tony: As I was saying, we will do whatever is needed to get to the bottom of this.
Abraxodyne tape 14[]
Amrita: This tape is being recorded for my own protection, as well as everyone else's. They're getting close, but I can't stop now. It's taken months and several near-misses, but I think I've collected enough evidence to finally hold these bastards to account. I don't even know who I should show this stuff to - a lawyer? The police? Hell, even the press? The important thing is this: project "Meadow Breeze" is not a cleaning product. It's some kind of awful, deadly weapon, and I can prove it. How it can decimate crops, ecosystems, hell even metal! It's all here in these reports. God only knows what its long term impact on human beings is! How did I not realize all of this sooner? Julius was practically spelling it out to me all along. I've been so stupid... I'll admit, I've had a part to play in our cover ups over the years, but not this. Never this. I don't have much time. The board are tying up loose ends and it won't be long before they notice things going missing. I need to get out, and soon. All that's left is to listen to these few extra tapes I swiped from the security room. Here goes:
Moses: Dealing with the bumps in the road ain't easy, but I'm sure the fine folks here appreciate your efforts.
Amrita: I've got to start looking into ways to protect myself a bit more... We've all got to cover our backs, right? Wait, but that's back when I was talking to... How did they get their hands on my copy? Oh God, oh God! I need to-
Abraxodyne tape 15[]
Amrita: Hi, Janice! Come in, take a seat. How's everything going? Is the "Abraxo-bucks" initiative making good progress?
Janice: It's going swell, thanks. But I actually had something else I wanted to talk to you about.
Amrita: Oh. Well I'm always happy to talk things through. What's on your mind?
Janice: You remember that problem the board had with the "flow of information"? From what I hear, they're getting mighty close to solving it.
Amrita: Huh. Well I'm glad to hear that things are-
Janice: And if I was someone involved in that situation whatsoever, I would sure start thinking about moving on. Sooner rather than later.
Amrita: I... I-
Janice: Alrighty, well, I've gotta skedaddle now. It was really nice chatting with you again Amrita. Take care, won't you?
Amrita: Oh God...