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This is a transcript for dialogue with Poindexter.


CaravanOffer Want to play a hand of Caravan? Neutral 50 A fascinating proposition. Naturally, my considerable genius makes me a master of the game, so try not to be disappointed if you lose miserably. 1
CaravanPlayerLoses CaravanPlayerLoses Neutral 50 I am unsurprised regarding your appalling lack of talent. Perhaps you'd care to try another hand? After all, you can only improve. 2
CaravanPlayerWins CaravanPlayerWins Neutral 50 Well now, this is an unexpected variable. You really must let me challenge you to a rematch, so I can analyze what passes for your strategy. 3
CaravanRematchNo I'm all done playing for now. Neutral 50 As you wish. Once you've salved your battered ego, perhaps you'll make another go of it. 4
CaravanRematchYes Yeah, let's play again. Neutral 50 Very well. I would wish you luck, but of course peerless intellect is all that matters here. 5
GREETING GREETING Disgust 10 While I have already internalized the new skills we have discussed, I feel as though my solution was nevertheless more practical. 6
GREETING Happy 25 Excellent! Maximal reward for minimal work. 7
GREETING Disgust 25 I trust you're satisfied with the squad's newfound teamwork? It's almost entirely my own doing, I assure you. 8
GREETING Neutral 50 Ever since consuming those "illicit rations" Razz offered us, I have felt a steadily-increasing desire to kill. 9
GREETING Sad 25 I understand the esteemed Chief Hanlon is no longer with us. A shame. He seemed to be the only competent leadership this Army had. 10
GREETING Neutral 50 I'm assuming you aren't associated with the Army or the Rangers. What can I do for you? 11
GREETING Disgust 25 You've done an excelent job ingratiating yourself to the top brass. I assume this is some sort of strategem? 12
GREETING Happy 25 You've managed to become extraordinarily well-liked by the top brass. You should exploit that for your own gain wherever possible. 13
GREETING Anger 20 Your behavior has become an unwelcome X-factor, and I would kindly ask you to consider altering it. 14
GREETING Disgust 50 I'm afraid I have no desire to socialize with unstable elements such as yourself. 15
GREETING Disgust 20 I must question your logic in coming here, in light of your prior actions. 16
GREETING Disgust 50 Kindly remove yourself, as I have no desire to be struck by a stray round when disgruntled troopers begin firing on you. 17
GREETING Neutral 50 Greetings once again. 18
MagsShapeUp1 I think you'll find that the Misfits' records are now much improved. Happy 50 You actually did it? My friend, I am without doubt a genius, but I must say, you've given me a run for my money. Bravo. Bravo. 19
Sgt. McCredie asked me to talk to you about getting your squad in shape. Disgust 20 That seems highly illogical. What reason would he have for doing that? 20
Going back to those squad improvements, I had an idea. Surprise 15 And what do you propose? 21
PoindexterArmy How'd a guy like you end up in the Army? Disgust 10 It's a simple idea: the Army offers fiscal security and generous benefits at the cost of substantial personal risk - if you're on the front line. 22
Disgust 10 If you perform too poorly, they'll scrub you out. Perform too well, and you get sent to the front lines. 23
Happy 25 All I have to do is ride that mediocrity gradient to a cushy, do-nothing job miles away from the war. 24
PoindexterHistory Tell me about yourself. Disgust 25 To what purpose? It's highly unlikely you'd understand anything I'd say. 25
Disgust 40 Suffice to say I'm a certified genius, and when I'm discharged from this pit of testosterone and failure, I'll have all the money I could ever need. 26
PoindexterMisfits Are you in charge around here? Sad 10 In a strictly official capacity, no. 27
Disgust 30 However, as I am by far the most intelligent and resourceful figure on this base, I feel it's safe to say the soldiers here look up to me. 28
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic001 So, that's a no, then? Anger 20 I suppose if you must stick with your narrow, parochial view of "in charge," then yes, it's a no. Are we done? 29
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic002 I wonder if anyone else would share that sentiment. Sad 30 Genius is seldom appreciated in its own time. 30
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic003 Great, maybe you can help me get this squad working together! Neutral 50 [FAILED] Why would I? If this unit improves its performance, we'll be shipped to the front lines. That's hardly conducive to living a long life. 31
Since you're so respected, maybe you can help get this unit into shape. Neutral 50 [SUCCEEDED] Hmm. You're trying to appeal to my ego. I must admit, it's an effective tactic. All right - I'll help. 32
Neutral 50 But only because I want to see if it's even possible. 33
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic004 He thinks you might respond better to someone who isn't an authority figure. Fear 15 This is an unexpected variable. I had hoped to coast on an easy wave of mediocrity to a cushy government pension. 34
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic005 I guess you don't feel so smart now, huh? Anger 25 Your insults are both unhelpful and unwanted. I'll thank you to keep them to yourself. 35
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic006 Maybe I can help out. Disgust 10 And how would you propose accomplishing such a goal? 36
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic008 It occurs to me that I might cheat. Surprise 10 Hmm... an intriguing proposition. 37
Happy 10 Company readiness reports are logged on the computer systems at the Resort. If you hack the system, you could alter our records. 38
Disgust 10 Such an attempt, however, is likely to thwart efforts to motivate the squad to do actual work. If such is your goal, you should look elsewhere. 39
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic015 I'll do it. Work is overrated anyways. Happy 30 Excellent! Squad readiness records can be accessed from two terminals at the resort: the main terminal in the lobby or a secure one in a back office. 40
Fear 10 The main terminal is typically unlocked, but is also in the middle of a major thoroughfare, you'll have to be stealthy to access it. 41
Happy 10 The office terminal is locked, but you might have an easier time accessing it, especially at night. 42
VFreeformCampGolf2CPoindexterTopic016 Maybe I'll ask around a little more instead. Disgust 20 As you wish; I'm sure the optimal solution will become apparent to you in time. 43


GOODBYE Goodbye. Neutral 50 I somehow suspect you'll be back to converse with me later. 44